Wonderland
by Snowflake128
Summary: Arcee discoveres a shocking secret about her leader. Orion Pax/Arcee /Optimus Prime
1. Chapter 1

**AN: This story is for my friend CyberKia as a little „Thank you" for her great support.**

**I hope you like this story. **

Optimus. Do you wanna see something funny" Jack asked with a smile, standing next to Miko and Raf.

Optimus was standing infront the computer of the main-hangar. He turned his head towards the human for a little moment to answer neutral as usual:"No"

„Don´t take it personal. Primes were built that way" he heard Arcee say while she entered the hangar followed by Bulkhead.

„We never see Optimus laught or cry. He´s always this cool" Bulkhead says.

„ Optimus always keeps his emotion in check, I´ve known him far longer than everyone of you do..And he was diffrent before he was made a Prime" Ratchet said annoyed by the comments of everbody.

„Optimus wasn´t always a Prime" Raf asked curious

„On Cybertron one isn´t born into greatnes. It must be rather earned" Ratchet explained.

„So..diffrent? Talking about a party-animal?" Miko asked amused.

Ratchet making a unmissunderstandable gesture with his hands, meaning that Miko defenitly wasn´t right:"No. Optimus was more like...Jack"Ratchet said surprising everybody in the room.

„I´m nothing.."Jack said shaking his head in disbelief.

„Optimus probably thought the same. He was once clerk in the hall of Iacon named Orion Pax but as he learned more about Cybertron´s past he grew increasently concerned about the corruption in high-places. Orion became inspired by the words of an Gladiator. One who had names himself after one of the 13 original Primes. Megatronos. He became something like a mentor to Orion.

As Megatronos left the Gladiator arena for the political, he shorten his name. Megatron appeared infront of the high-council. He began to reveal his true goals and how to achieve them. But Orion didn´t believe in the violence as the means of achiving justice.

The sparks and minds of the council were moved by Orion´s words. Here for the first time since Cybertron´s golden age stood someone worthy of beeing a Prime." Ratchet explains.

Arcee´s optics widened in shock:"This can´t be possible" she whispered.

She shooked her head."No..just no." She repeated all over again.

She noticed that everybot was watching her but she doesn´t care. She walked down the hallway her hands infront her chest. How could this be possible? Optimus just couldn´t be Orion. She arrived the roof of the base.

Arceee was standing infront of the cliff, looking down the edge. One step and her damn life has an end..

What was she waiting for? Arcee asked her self. She wasn´t sure. Maybe she was waiting for the sunrise ...

She stared towards the horizon. It would take some hours until the sun rises. Enough time to to cry about the things she lost in her past. She hugged herself, letting the tears roll down her cheeks.

Suddenly she felt something warm on her shoulder. She immediatly turns around.

Ratchet was standing infront her, his hand still on her shoulder.:"Arcee.." Ratchet started but stopped his sentence when he saw that Arcee was crying.

He flinched lighty when Arcee suddenly hugged him. He wasn´t expecting that she would do something like that. Usually she was much more distant..but now she was crying, her head on his chest. He hugged her back."Everything is gonna be alright." He said trying to calm her down a little, but it makes the things even worse. Arcee hastly pulled away from him, yelling:"Nothing is gonna be alright. You´ve no plan what I´ve gone through!"

„You´re right. I don´t know what happened, so please tell me what´s wrong. Perhaps I can help you" Ratchet said calm.

„Nobot can help me. It´s pointless. I´ve lost everything I ever had." She said, falling on her knees, her head in her hands.

Ratchet bents down on a knee to keep on the same optic level as her.

„Arcee, please tell me why you´re crying." He pleaded.

Arcee looked towards the stars for a moment before she starts her story

_FLASHBACK_

_Back on Cybertron, when Arcee was much younger, she was working as a waitress at a bar. She wasn´t proud of this job but she had to earn something or she wouldn´t have survived. Arcee worked there cause she had no other choice. She was comming from the lower stratum and her parents died very early so she was alone for a long time._

_But when Arcee was about 17 in human age her life changed for ever...She was on the way to work. Like usually she has to walk through a not very friendly district. Suddenly Arcee noticed that somebot was following her. She started to walk faster but the mechs who were following her already had threw her to the floor. She couldn´t free herself. They were just too strong. They yelled some stuff at her she doesn´t want to remember. They hit her and kicked her. Energon starts to leak from her wounds. She felt nothing but pain. Her vision starts to get blurry before she fainted. _

_The next thing she remember was another mech who takes her from the floor in his arms. Arcee just starred at him, not able to say something. She lost her consciousnes again._

_Arcee doesn´t know how long she had been knocked out but when she wakes up, she found herself on the mech´s berth. He was reacharging in a chair next to the berth. She tried to sit up but instead of it Arcee felt so much pain comming form the cried out in pain, causing the mech next to her to wake up. He immediately stood up, putting his hand on her shoulder, stopping Arcee from sit up._

_„Don´t move you´re injured." He said calm. _

_She still remember the first time she heard his awesome voice the first time. _

_Arcee just starred at him for a few seconds. She wasn´t sure what she should do. She was in an apartment of a unknown mech after beeing beaten up and she doesn´t even know the mech´s name._

_Arcee decided that she should thank him:"W-What´s your name?" she asked him_

_„Oroin Pax. But you can call me Orion" he said._

_„Thank you very much Orion"she said,her hand clutching firmly on a cut at her side._

_„Your welcome.. Wait you haven´t told me your name" He said with a soft smile._

_„My name is Arcee" she said blushing a little._

_„Can you tell me what happened to you?" He asked worried._

_Arcee hesitated to answer. She avoided optic-contact to him until he puts a hand on her shoulder again:"Arcee. You can trust me." _

_He was right. I didn´t know why but from the first second on she trusted him. It scares her a bit cause she learned early enough not to trust somebot then herself..but Orion seemed to be diffrent._

_Her thoughts were interrupted when he puts his hand away from her shoulder. Arcee doesn´t want him to stop carring about her so she said:"Somebot..somebot..has beaten me up " _

_Orion looked horrifed:"Who did ..this..to you?" He asked horrified about the fact that somebot could be that violent, attacking a helpless femme._

_She just shaked her head:"I don´t know."Arcee said,pain in her voice. She was still shocked about the things happened the last evening._

_He thoughtfully sat down on his chair again:"You can stay there as long as you wish" He finally said._

_Arcee shooks her head again:"No. I can´t. I..wait how long I was in recharge?" She asked paniced._

_He answeres calm but a bit puzzled:" Since almost 2 days" _

_„Oh..No! I just lost my job!" Arcee said putting her head in her hands_

_„Where had you been working at, that you´re loosing your job so fast?" He asked courious._

_Arcee was a embrassed when she told him where she had been working at and where she came from. He listen carefully all the time._

_Arcee still remember what he said:" I don´t care about things in your past you weren´t proud of. The only important thing now is the future."_

_She looked in his optics. Arcee couldn´t believe it. He was obviously from the upper stratum and he doesn´t care about her origin._

_„I´ll care about you. You´ll never have to work again."He added._

_„How can I ever thank you for that all?" Arcee asked desperately._

_„You don´t need to thank me. You just have to take the offer" was all he said_

**AN: I hope you like this chapter**

**REVIEWS PLEASE**


	2. Chapter 2

**Wonderland 2**

**AN: I´m sorry that this chapter is short like this. **

**It´s a flashback.**

_Orion and Arcee soon became best friends. Everyday after he comes back from work they spend their day together._

_He often told her about his work and the scandals he had discovered. For example the corruption of the council. He also told her about his ideas of a new community structur without stratums. Arcee was very impressed about his future plans and told him to go to the high council. But everytime she started this subject again he just said he knows another mech with similiar ideas. _

_A few weeks later_

_ Arcee starts to feel something unexpected for Orion. Something she never felt for a mech before. She was in love. Of course Arcee couldn´t tell Orion. It would ruin their friendship for ever. And she doesn´t want to take that risk._

_One night Arcee couldn't recharge, so she quietly walked over to Orion´s berth and laid down next to him. Arcee puts her head on his chest, hearing the pulse of his spark, she fell in recharge after a few minutes._

_Arcee still can remember how surprised Orion was as he woke up with a Femme lying in his berth. But he haven´t sent her away, instead of this possibility he puts an arm around her waist. He didn´t know that Arcee was awake and she decided that it was better don´t let him know. Arcee suddenly heard him whisper something in her audioreceptor ,she never thought to hear from him._

_„Arcee, I wish so badly to tell you what I feel"_

_She slowly moves, facing him. He starred at her in pure shock. Arcee just stared back. Her face was just a few inches away from his. Orion´s glare softened a bit as she puts her hand on his cheek. „Arcee..I" he startes his sentence but then he just stopped. She understood that it wasn´t easy for him as well. Arcee felt that Orion comes a bit closer. She couldn´t move she was frozen until she felt the soft presure of his lips on hers. Arcee noticed that his hands had moved towards her hips, holding her even more thighter to his body. She puts her hands around his neck bringing him deeper into the kiss._

_ They kissed until they´re nearly suffocated._

_They just looked at eachother for a few seconds before Orion said:"Arcee. I love you"_

_She kissed him again with much passion, showing him what she felt at this moment. She pulled away from him to tell him what he wanted to hear. The truth. „I love you . I always have" _

_With this words in their mind they kissed again._

**AN: Sorry for the short chapter**

** Reviews please. They are my motivation to write on.**


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: This chapter doesn´t starts from a flashback this time.**

„ The realationship betwwen Orion and me grew stronger from day to day. I often accompanied him to his workplace. I never had a chance to learn something about Cybertron´s past before cause I always had to work."Arcee explained to Ratchet, who listen carefully what Arcee said.

„While Orion was helping his master Alpha Trion, I had enough time to study everything I wanted to learn."

„But one day Orion told me to stay at home. I didn´t know why but I was sure that Orion has a good reason for it. He never told me to do something and I always had been glad for it. I needed my freedom and he knows it" Arcee makes a short break. She tries to find the right words to explain Ratchet the situation.

„He comes back very late at night. I didn´t know what has taken him so long but I was sure that I didn´t want to find it out. He looks kinda disturbed. His optics didn´t shine as bright as usual. I immediately walked over to him as he let himself fall on the berth.

I asked him what happened but he just starred at the ceiling.

I layed down next to him looking at him. I was worried why he actes so strange. He always answered when I ask him something. Whatever it was I wanted to help Orion. I hate it seeing him sad or upset by something. He seemed so desperate".

Ratchet soon realized that it seems like it was the day Orion found out about Megatron´s true self. It was the same day the council said that Orion would be worthy to be called a Prime.

Ratchet snaped out of his thoughts when Arcee continues her story.

„Orion didn´t say a word neither I. We just layed there starring in the nowhere. Suddenly Orion moved, facing me.

He shocked me completely when he asked me if I would do him the honor of being his spark-mate. I couldn´t believe what I just heard. I was frozen for a few seconds. I was still concerned about his behaviour but I was just too lucky at this moment.

I loved Otion like I never loved somebot in my life before and I said yes."

**AN: Reviews Please. Let me know what you´re thinking.**


	4. Chapter 4

Arcee and Ratchet were still satnding on the roof of the base. Ratchet was really surprised that Orion and Arcee were bonded. He has known Orion since he has been Alpha Trion´s assistent. Alpha Trion has been wounded by an accident and Orion brought him to Ratchet´s hospital. Orion told him what happened and didn´t left his mentor´s side the whole day. Ratchet told him go home Alpha Trion needs some recharge but he´ll be fine and able to leave the hospital tommorrow.

Orion and he became friends after Orion has been elected as a Prime.

„Arcee what happened next?" He asked her curious.

Arcee sighs deeply but not in annoyance like he was used to do it. She was sighing in sorrow.

„One week later. I woke up and Orion wasn´t around me. I thought he maybe was working earlier today but when I went to the hall of Iacon, Orion wasn´t there. I was sure that Alpha Trion knows where he is but his mentor was helpless too. He was concerned. He told me that Orion didn´t came to work today at all. I went back to our arpartment. I started to worry about my mech too. I started to tidy up the aprtement a little to distrace me from my thoughts until I found a letter."

Arcee hesitated a moment before she continued her story cause the thought of what happenes next still hurts her.

„It was a letter of Orion. I couldn´t believe what this letter was about."

Ratchet noticed the tears in Arcee´s optics.

„Arcee what was written in this letter?" Ratchet asked worried.

„I can show you what´s written in this letter. It breaks my spark into pieces eveytime I read it.

Arcee reached Ratchet a devise on wich he could read the letter

_I already regret to write this but I don´t see another way to tell you that I have to leave you.I can´t tell you why or where I have to go. I would never leave you but it´s my destiny now. I have to leave the life I lived. I can´t tell you how much I´m sorry for it._

_Never forget me. I love you and I always will. _

_Orion Pax_

Tears fall down Arcee´s cheeks while Ratchet was reading the letter.

Ratchet couldn´t believe that Orion never told him about this all. He start to doubt that Arcee and he were talking about the same person.

„I couldn´t believe that Orion left me. Why? How could he hurt me like this?.

He acted very strange the whole week.I tried everthing to find out what´s brothering him but he always changed the subject or just didn´t respond. He said that he wanted to do the right thing before everything ends. Why he should leave me after making me his spark-mate?

He said that it was his destiny to leave me but how could his destiny change from day to day?

And how he could just dissapear without a trace?

So much questions were flying through my mind since he dissapeared but there was nobot who could give me the answers I was searching for."

Ratchet just stared at Arcee for a few minutes before he carefully but shocked asked:"Arcee you never spoke much about you past you really surprised me by telling me your story. I never thought that Orion has a spark-mate"

Arcee felt how her anger boiled up as she said:" I wasn´t just his sparkmate. I was the mother of his sparkling!"

**AN: Sorry for that little cliffhanger**

**REVIEWS PLEASE**


	5. Chapter 5

WHAT?! You´re a mother? Where is the sparkling?"Ratchet asked almost shouting.

Arcee hides her tears behind her hands but Ratchet took her wrists putting her hands down

„Arcee. Where is the sparkling?" He asked deadly-serious.

She just shook her head, avoiding the medic´s optics.

"What happened? Tell me" He demands to know

„I´ve lost her. She was my last hope and she died" Arcee said between her sobs.

„How?" Ratchet asked without mercy. He knows that she was hiding her sadness too long and she needed to share her fears and sorrow with someone. He decided to be the one she can trust now.

„After Orion left me I soon found out that I was pregnant. I wasn´t sure if I should be happy or even more desperate. Of course I wanted to be a mother but I doesn´t know how to raise a sparkling alone. I decided that I want to keep the sparkling. It was everything that I had. But Primus decided to take the most importent person in my life away again. First Orion then my little femme. She was born too early. I wasn´t strong enough to keep her alive. Everything was my fault. She died cause I was too weak. There wasn´t enough hope in my spark just desparation and sorrow."

Ratchet listened to every word she said and was horrified. How could a mech leave a pregnant femme course Orion hasn´t known that she was carrying his sparkling but he should have told her why he had to leave. It would have been much easier for her.

Ratchet embraced her. She needs every comfort he could give now.

„Maybe it´s another Orion you´re speaking from not the Orion I mean." Ratchet said.

„You said his full name was Orion Pax and that he was a clerk at the hall of Iacon. Orion is a very rare name and there was just one clerk at the hall of Iacon with that name. We´re talking about the same person."Arcee responds stopping herself from crying.

„And you didn´t know that he has become a Prime?" Racthet asks with lightly disbelief in his voice.

„No I haven´t know until now. I never understood why he left me. And I still don´t understand. How he could do something like that to me? He could have taken me with him. I wouldn´t left his side even when he´s a Prime. It just can´t be possible that Optimus is Orion. Orion could never live without me knowing that I´m just a few inches away from him..or so I thought." She responds angrily

„Arcee, I´m sure everything comes clear when we talk to Optimus. He´ll know if he was bonded in his fromer life"Ratchet suggested

Suddenly Arcee shouted angrily:" NO! We´ll not going to talk to Optimus about that all! I won´t say a word neither you"

Arcee falls on her knees:"Please Ratchet you have to promise me not to talk to him about this all" She begged.

Ratchet sighs deeply:"You never will find out the truth when you don´t talk to him" he said, triying to convince her to talk with Optimus.

„Perhaps I don´t want to know the truth, did you thought about that?" She asked still a little angry.

Ratchet wasn´t very surprised by her reaction and decided to tell her what she want to hear:" Arcee, I promise not to tell Optimus about the things we talked about the last hours"

She calmes down immediatly, taking a deep breath she turned around to face the cliff. She looked down once again, eyed by Ratchet. The medic carefully approached her putting his hand on her shoulder:"What are you doing?"

„I´m waiting for the sunrise" She said looking towards the horizon.

Ratchet calms down a little too, knowing that she wouldn´t jump down the cliff.

**AN: REVIEWS PLEASE **

**Let me know what you´re thinking**


	6. Chapter 6

Optimus was still standing infront the computer but he couldn´t work anymore he was too worried. He was afraid what could happen the next hours. The others didn´t know about but he was listening what Ratchet said. Optimus doesn´t know if he should be angry with Ratchet but he knows that the medic didn´t planned to destroy the little rest of his little rest of his life was all he had. It was the hope to end the war as soon as possible to tell Arcee the truth but now this hope was destroyed. She already knows about the happenings of the past. Arcee probably would never forgive him for the things he had done to her. He wishes that he could just turn back the time, apologize to Arcee earlier but he lost his chance. Optimus has secretly watched Arcee leaving the main-hangar. He doesn´t know where she was now. He noticed that Ratchet followed her. He hopes that both were still at base and save. He couldn´t bear to loose Arcee again.

He once had to leave her and he missed her everyday. He still loves her after all thoose years. She was his entire life until Primus decided to took everything away from him by making him a Prime. Before he became a Prime his life was just perfect, he had a lot of friends, a good job and Arcee on his side. He wasn´t sure if he regrets making Arcee his spark-mate the last days they could be together. He had to leave her forever. He hadn´t been able to say Good-Bye to her knowing she wouldn´t understand his reasons for leaving her. She probably thought that he left her for another femme or something like that but how he could. He loves her just too much to hurt her. He hates himself for leaving her but he had to. There was no othere choice. As a Prime he couldn´t allow to bring Arcee in such danger. He still remembered the day when he found out that Arcee had become a soldier.. his sodier, part of his team. He feared the day she gets injured badly or even dies on the battlefield.

Once they almost died at the Arctic. His spark nearly broke in pieces when they were holding hands and Arcee almost lost hope of being saved. He wished so badly that he could have told her the truth but he still hasn´t lost hope that someone could come and save them.

He was glad that it didn´t came so far..Ahh..What was he thinkin..He was such a damn coward. Arcee will never forgive him and he shouldn´t even try to make her forgive him. He doesn´t deserve it. Optimus knows that the destiny sometimes just doesn´t show mercy, even so much people were wishing for it.

„Optimus? Optimus! Are you listening?!"

Ratchet´s voice was interrupting his thoughts...

„I´m sorry Ratchet. What did you said?" Optimus asked.

„I said that you should save your results from today and make a break until tomorrow" Ratchet repeated what he said, still a bit puzzled about the behaviour of his friend.

„No, I think I should continue my work now. I haven´t finished my work."Optimus said, walking closer to the computer again, but Ratchet stopped him, placing a hand on Optimus´ shoulder

:" You worked enough for today. And I don´t think that you´re able to concentrate at your work. I mean, you don´t even noticed me talking to you. You´re kinda distraced today. As your medic I tell you to rest." Ratchet tried persuade his friend to stop working.

Optimus shook his head saying calm but a little thoughtful:"I think I should continue my work. It´s a nice distracion for me now. I have a lot in my mind. Maybe I can find some peace in the work."

Ratchet was concerned about Optimus. He was acting strange, since..since he told the others about Optimus´past. Does he listen what Ratchet told Arcee and the others? Does he knows that Arcee now knows about the destiny of Orion? Ratchet wasn´t sure but he should try to find it out. For Arcee. She deserves to know the truth even she doesn´t wants to know the truth.

„Optimus. What´s brothering you?" Ratchet asked worried but not just about Optimus.

„I just can´t tell you everything Ratchet"Optimus said avoiding optic-contact to the medic.

Ratchet sighs. He expected this answer. Optimus never told him much about his past why he should start with it now.

„Optimus I now it´s pointless to tell you but you can´t bury everything, hiding it from the rest of the world. One day you´ll see that everybot needs release sometimes." Ratchet said walking away, towards the med-bay leaving Optimus alone with his thoughts.

**AN: Don´t forget the review if you want to write one : )**


	7. Chapter 7

Optimus realized that it was senseless to stand infront of the computer to find the peace he was searching for. Everytime when he was about to break through the endless circle of possibilities of Arcee´s reactions, he found another option how she could make his life even more awful. She never will forgive him. Never. There was no chance for him to be lucky again. It was obviously that Primus has decided to hate him, first by making him a Prime and now by letting Arcee know things she should never find out before the war ends. He sighs mentally, saving his results. Ratchet was rights he couldn´t concentrate on his work anymore . He decided to go out for a drive. Walking down on the corridor out of the base he heard some sobs. Somebot was crying. He closed his optics, listening to the sound. He walked over where the noise was comming from. He stopped infront the door of a closet. Optimus wasn´t sure if he should knock but as usual he was concerned about his team. He finally knocked at the door. There was no respond first so he said:"It´s me Optimus. Can I come in?" He asked cautious.

„Go away!Let me alone!" A voice he could recognize everywhere shouts from the other side of the door.

He felt so sorry for Arcee. Optimus knows that he shouldn´t do this but he slowly opens the door. It was dark in the closet but he doesn´t care. He could hear that Arcee was still crying.

„Arcee..." He wasn´t sure what he could say to calm her down, knowing that she was crying cause of him.

Arcee stopped crying immediately. She never cried infront of her Leader and she doesn´t planned to start with it now.

„I said that I want to be alone"Arcee said angry still hidden in the darkness.

„Arcee. It would be wrong when I ask what´s brothering you cause I know it" Optimus said as calm as he could.

„You think you know everything. You think you can understand me but you know nothing. You can´t understand the pain you caused me and you never will" She screamed in anger and despair.

„Let me understand your pain!" Optimus shouts.

Now Optimus saw where she was. Her optics shone bright as his own in the darkness. He even saw Arcee´s blue tears.

„You don´t deserve to understand my pain. Why should I tell you?" She said a little calmer but still angry.

„Do you think it was easy for me to leave the love of my life to become a Prime?" He asked desperately.

Arcee´s optics became wider. She never has seen Optimus this angry before in her life.

„I never wanted to leave you. I had to. I told you that I never will stop loving you. It was the hardest decision in my life to leave you. But I couldn´t take the risk of bringing you in danger."

Arcee couldn´t believe what she just heard. She just starred at Optimus. She doesn´t know what to say or what she should think now. Her processor seemed she just stood there.

Optimus closed his optics for a second inhaling deeply before he open them up again. He took a step back before he dissapeared at all walking down the hall-way, leaving Arcee alone even when he doesn´t wants to.

**AN: I hope you like this chapter. **

**Reviews please**


	8. Chapter 8

After Arcee thoughfully has returned to her quarters she layed down on her berth staring at the ceeiling.

She ponders about the things Optimus told her in the closet.

She kept his words in her mind.

_I told you that I never will stop loving you. It was the hardest decision in my life to leave you._

But what was the meaning of thoose words? Does he still has feelings for her after all this years? But he was another mech since he became a Prime. This had been the reason why she doesn´t recognized him. His body has changed. He became taller and his painjob and armor looks a little bit diffrent too. But the major changes had been taken on his character. He was still polite and honest but he forget to show emotions. Orion always laughted with her and sometimes he gets angry about some people who behave inappropiate. Now he doesn´t even gets angry when a human like Fowler or Miko is annoying him.

He has changed in a lot of ways. But some things Optimus and Orion have still in common. Both show the same passion in their ideas and the goals they were setting. They never give up. Optimus doesn´t show his emotions but this doesn´t means that he hasn´t emotions at all.

Arcee puts her hand over her sparkchamber. What would Orion say when he would be there now? She missed him so badly. She misses his comfort, his hugs and his kisses. Arcee misses everything she shared with him. She felt alone and wants somebot at her side, like she had somebot at her side when she almost died in the Arctic. Optimus told her not to give up without saying even a single word. She took his hand and felt save immediately when he closed his hand around hers. This was something only Orion could do, giving her hope in just one little touch even when the situation was bad like this. It was the first time she noticed that Optimus has something in common with Orion. She never thought that she would find a mech like Orion again and she thought that she never would want to find another mech again, cause Arcee still loves Orion and she was sure that she never will stop loving Orion. Maybe it was possible that Optimus has feelings for her but she doesn´t know if she could feel the same. And even Arcee would feel the same, she probably would never stop comparing Optimus with Orion. Arcee shook her head cleaning her thoughts.

She needs to stop thinking about Optimus. She never will be in a relationship wih him. He is a Prime and her Leader. He never will show his emotion when the others are around and Arcee had never be a femme who wants to play a hide and seek game.

She needs to know if Optimus really has feelings for her.

Arcee never had been confused like this in her entire life. She wants to know what Optimus feels for her but she was sure that Optimus wouldn´t want to talk with her anymore. The last time they talked she had been so rude to him. She even called him a coward. Damn it! How could she talk to her leader like this. It wasn´t correct. She regrets yelling at him like that. He cause her a lot of pain but he doesn´t deserved this. He still carries the burden of his title.

Suddenly Arcee realizes something. Orion never wanted to be a Prime. Optimus maybe felt the same pain she felt when he dissapeared. She mentally sighed. Arcee just wished everything could be like it has been before Orion left. She maybe would never lost her little femme. She never will forget the moment she realized that her little daughter would never walk down the streets of Iacon, would never see the world and the worst thing of all, she would never met her father

**AN: Reviews Please : )**


	9. Chapter 9

Arcee walked down the felt a mix of excitement and insecurety. She still wasn´t sure what she should say. But there was no way back. She needs to knows what Optimus feels and what she feels. She had been in her quaters the whole day, thinking about the years Optimus had been a great friend for her. They often talked about the war and the cons but he never shows much affection for her.

She puts all her courage together and knocks at his door. There was no respond first but after a few seconds the door opened. Optimus was looking at her without emotions in his saphire blue optics wich once had been full of love. Both didn´t say a word. Just staring at eachother. Frozen in this moment Arcee neither Optimus dares to say a word.

The silence was broken when Optimus took a step aside, making a gesture with his hand for Arcee as a permission to enter in his quaters.

Both were still silent. Arcee doesn´t know how to start their talk. Her mind was screaming"SAY SOMETHING" but she could just stand there in the middle of the room watching Optimus walking over to his desk. It seems like he was about to start work again as if Arcee wasn´t there but he stopped in his movement and turned around.

„Arcee. I´m sure that you have a reason to come me what do you want"Optimus demands.

„First I didn´t know what I want but now I know what it is." She said without taking her optics from his.

„I just want an answer to a very simple question"she added serious

Optimus hesitated a moment before he said:" I will answer to your question"

Arcee took a deep breath.

„Do you still have feelings for me?" She asked waiting for Optimus reaction to her questions.

Optimus doesn´t move. It seems like the question shockes him.

He hesitates a few moments to answer, knowing that his answer could change a lot.

„Yes, I still have feelings for you." He finally said

Arcee asked her next question without mercy:"What do you feel. I´m not going to leave your quaters until I know what´s between us"

Optimus was surprised by her demand. She never spoke in this commanding tone to him. He was still her leader but he could understand what´s in her mind. He had some problems to express his feelings for her even when he was known as Orion Pax but now it was even more difficult.

„Arcee..I don´t know what I feel for you" He said.

Arcee could always see when Optimus lies and this time she could see it too.

Optimus saw the anger in Arcee´s optics:" Did you just dare to lie at me?! After all I went through cause of you! You never lied at me and now you start with it. You´re such a damn coward. That´s the reason why you just left a letter to me. I needed you! I never will forgive you that you left me alone with your sparkling. You´re the reason why she died!"Arcee now was really really furious. She thought she would never speak in this tone with him again. She told herself that she shouldn´t yell at him like this. She wasn´t just angry about him she was angry with herself. Why she couldn´t just shut up. Now everything was too late he knows about her biggest secret now.

Optimus´optics widened in shock. „Arcee..I" he was just too shocked to say something. All the years he doesn´t know that he had been a father.

Arcee had tears in her optics.

Optimus aprroached her carefully, taking her in his arms. She tried to get away from him but he was just too strong. She clenched her fists hammering them against his chest. But Optimus just stood there hugging her. Arcee´s movements become slower. She stops hitting him.

Optimus starts to stroke her back when she calmed down. Arcee was now crying against his chest but he doesn´t care. Arcee was right she doesn´t deserve that he lies at her. She deserves the truth.

„Arcee. I love you" he said, causing her to look up at his optics.

He tenderly wiped her tears away. She saw the deep pain in his optics.

Arcee looked down to her feet. She doesn´t want him to see her pain.

He took her chin in his hand, making her look at him again.

„Arcee. Tell me where is our sparkling?"Optimus asked concerned.

Arcee doesn´t answer to Optimus question, she just buried her face into his of her tears flow down on his armor but he doesn´t care. The only thing he cares about now was Arcee.

„Arcee please. I need to know..our sparkling.." Optimus hesitated to ask cause her was afraid to know the answer.

„Optimus. I..I lost her. Everything was my fault.I wasn´t strong enough. I´m so sorry Optimus. I wish you could have met your daughter." She said looking up to could see his sorrow and pain.

„Arcee..It´s not your fault. You can´t be blamed for the loss of our daughter. I´m the one who should be blamed for her death. I wasn´t there for you when you needed me. I once promised you that I always would be there for you..but I broke my promise when I left you"

Arcee doesn´t want Optimus to blame himself for the death of their sparkling. She carefully raised a hand, putting her hand on the center of his chest she said: „I felt nothing but pain and sorrow. I know it´s not possible but it seemed to poison our daughter´s spark. Nobot can be blamed when Primus decides to end a live or not to start one. She never had a chance to live. She was too weak. You have to promise me not to blame yourself for her death"Arcee asked pleading

„I don´t know if I can do this. I can´t just forgive myself that I left you alone." He said, avoiding optic-contact to her.

Arcee moved her hand from his chest to his chin, making him look at her again

„But I can forgive you. I can understand now why you had to leave and that my pain all the years was not your fault."Arcee said honest.

He couldn´t believe his audio-receptors..Optimus alwasy thought that Arcee could never forgive him. But now he was the one who couldn´t forgive himself.

„Arcee..I" he started but he soon realized that there was no need to say something.

He slowly leaned over her. Arcee seemed to notice what they were about to do but she doesn´t stop him. She hesitated a moment before she comes closer to his face as well.

Before their lips met Arcee softly whisperes:"I love you Optimus"

They haven´t kissed eachother for such a long time. They enjoyed every little second of the kiss.

Suddenly they were interupted by the sound of the alert.

„We´ve waited all the years. We can wait a few hours more" Arcee said as Optimus breaks the kiss.

**AN: REVIEWS PLEASE**


	10. Chapter 10

A few weeks later

Optimus has been very thoughtful the last few hours. He thought a lot about Arcee´s and his relationship. They were very happy together but Optimus still misses something between then. He misses a connection between them. He had been bnded with her in his former life but their bond grew very weak the last years. They only had merged their spark one time but for a strong bond it need more then one spark-merge.

He snapped out of the thoughts as he heard a familiar vioce.

„Is there something you wanna tell me?" Ratchet asked his friend curious.

„I don´t think that I need to tell you something you already know" Optimus responds smiling mentally.

A smile formed on Ratchet´s lips:"So it´s true."

Optimus nodded lightly amused about the unusual curiuosity of the medic.

„ Indeed. Arcee and I found what we lost..but there is still something missing" the Prime said causing Ratchet to ask:"What are you talking about? I thought everything is clear now"

Optimus wasn´t sure how he could explain Ratchet what he was thinking:"It´s just..I mean..I´m not sure if Arcee loves just the part of me wich is still Orion or if she loves Optimus Prime too"

Ratchet tried the best to understand what Optimus just said.

„Arcee fell in love with Orion but when I became a Prime my personalitry changed in some points of the view. Maybe Arcee wants me to be Orion again..but I can´t change back to my former self. I´m needed as the mech I´m now, not the clerk I once had been"

Ratchet noods, understanding what Optimus means:" Maybe you should just ask Arcee what she thinks about it."

Optimus sighes mentally at his current situation:" I want to bond with Arcee..but I´m not sure if she would bond with me again after all those years..after everything that happened"

Ratchet puts his hand on Optimus´shoulder as an attempt to calm Optimus down. Optimus shook his head to clear his thoughts.

„I just wish to find out what I mean to her. I love her so much. What is when she doesn´t want me to be hers" Optimus sounds almost desperate.

„Optimus. You need to stop worry so loves you. I saw how she looks at you and how she has changed the last weeks."

Ratchet pats on Optimus shoulder:"And I´m glad that she´s happy again and you should be lucky too." The medic added with a small smile.

„Maybe you´re right but I wish it wouldn´t be such a risk." Optimus said, letting his head hung down a little.

„Whatever you do, you can be sure that Arcee is worthy that you fight for her"

**AN: I´m sorry for the short chapter. I hope you enjoyed it**

**REVIEWS PLEASE : ) **


	11. Chapter 11

A few days later

Arcee was very excited. Optimus told her to come to some coordinates at the evening. She doesn´t know what Optimus has planned for her. He never has done `romantic`stuff in his former. She mentally smiled at her own curiosity. Since they figured out their new new relationship, she become aware how much she missed somebot at her sid to share her life with. She noticed that Optimus was acting much happier too since they were together. She hopes that Optimus is going to forgive himself someday. It hurts her seeing him in sorrow and pain but she doesn´t regret it anymore that she told him accidently about their daughter. Optimus told her how he journey at the core of Cybertron and how he recieved the Matrix. Arcee has listened very carefully, knowing that this were the answers she had been searching for a very long time. Her spark sung in happiness, relieved from it´s pain. She missed this so much. She missed beeing happy and content. She thought she would never feel whole again like this.

Arcee walked out of the ground-bridge. There was a grassy hill with some trees. She looked around. Where was Optimus? She asked herself. He said that he would meet her there but now where was he? Does he forgot to meet her? Probably not. Optimus wouldn´t just forget it. He was the one who wants to meet her there.

She jumped in pure shock when she suddenly felt two large hands on her shoulders. Arcee immediately turned around to see Optimus rights behind her.

„How can such big bot sneak around like this?" She asked him with a playfull tone in her voice.

„Sorry I didn´t mean to scare you" Optimus said, hugging her.

„ So.. what are we doing there?" Arcee asked him curious.

Optimus hesitated a moment before he answered:"N-nothing special. We´re just talking a bit and so on. I know it´s not much but I want to spend time with you. Without beeing disturbed by humans or bots."

Arcee noticed immediately that Optimus was lying. She always has noticed it when Orion was lying and the same was with was easy to notice that he was lying. It was always the same. He hestitates a moment before he says something and he always avoids optic-contact at the beginning of his sentence. It seems like he´s hiding something from her, but why should he?. Whatever it was she hopes that I doesn´t has something to do with the Optimus lies it´s about something important or dangerous. Hopefully it´s not the second possibility.

She decided to wait what happenes. Optimus needs a good reson for lyingto her. He took her hand in his and lead her on the top of the hill.

They stood there for a moment just enjoying the silence until Optimus said"Arcee I´m sorry for lying to you. I´ve planned something special just for you. „

Arcee smiles a little aout the fact that Optimus couldn´t lie at her for just a few minutes. And now she was even more curious what he have planned. _Something special_ he said.

„It´s okay, you don´t need to apologize. Tell me what you´ve planned."

Optimus hesitated again but this time it wasn´t the way he hesitated before he lies. He hesitated like he doesn´t know what to say or how to find the rights words to express something importent. Optimus never has problems to find the right words for something. He could give his encouragaing speeches everytime and to everyone but now he stood there looking at her without saying a word.

Finally he said:"

I´m sure you remember the last time we bond. I think you deserve a better way to ask you this. When I the council elected me as a Prime, iI was afraid to loose you but I knew I would when I leave you. Everytime I was with you, I felt whole. I always said to myself: One day I´m gonna make you my spark-mate. But I realized that we couldn´t be together anymore. I told you that I want to do the right thing before everything ends and all I ever wanted was you."

Arcee listen carefully to everything Optimus was felt her spark pulsing faster. She waits for him to continue, he seemed tense almost nervous. She never has seen him like this before.

„Nothing has changed since then. I still want you with every little fibre of my being. Arcee, I ask you to come there cause I want to ask you something. I want to ask you if you want to be my spark-mate"

Arcee was completely shocked. She never thought that she would hear this question again. Her processor seemed empty. She wasn´t able to say something. She just stared at him for a few seconds. She slowly snapped out of her trance.

„Of course I want to bond with you again."She said placing her hand on Optimus cheek. She was surprised when Optimus takes her hand away, cupping her hand with his own.

„Arcee. You´ve been bonded with Orion not with me. I want to know if you just love the part of me wich reminds you on Orion or if you love the mech I´m now"

Arcee just stood there for some seconds. She never relized that Optimus thinks like that but she was very sure about the answer.

„Optimus. I never will forget Orion. He´s a part of my past, I never will deny. When I found out that you have been Orion, I thought I had Orion back but now I realize that I truly found you. And you are the mech I love. Orion is the past. You´re my future."

Arcee took Optimus´face in her hands and kissed him with all her love.

**AN: I hope you enjoyed this chapter.**

**What do you think about this one. Let me know. REVIEWS PLEASE**


	12. Chapter 12

Sometime has passed after Arcee and Optimus bonded. They lived together now. They haven´t explain the humans their relationship yet. They plan to tell them soon but Optimus has a lot of work and Arcee often has to go on scouting-missions or patrols. They haven´t enough time yet to explain them everything, maybe they find some time next week..

Arcee felt sorry that Optimus and she weren´t able to act like a normal pair when the humans were around mentally sighed at the thought of how the humans could react, especially Miko. Arcee was afraid that Miko would annoy them the whole time..maybe even more then usual. She decided that it would be the best to talk with Optimus about this later when she returnes from her current mission. She was searching for a small amount of energon with Bumblebee. She hopes that this mission doesn´t take that long. She starts to miss Optimus. They haven´t seen eachother the entire day..

„_I think I found it_" Bumblebee chirped happily causing Arcee to snap out of her thoughts.

„Finally. I thought we would spend the whole fragging day out there searching for that stuff. It´s just one little piece but it´s better then nothing. Seems like we can get back to base now" Arcee cheered.

Bumblebee looked at her curious, wondering why Arcee was so eager to get back to the base.

„_You seem very eager to get back to base. Why?_" he asked.

Arcee smiled at the curiosity of the young scout.

„I just want to spend sometime with Optimus when he has time for me. He works very much at the moment, you know"

Bumblebee just nodded at her statement. He knows that she was right. Optimus has a really bad habit by overworking himself.

„_I don´t know much about relationships but isn´t it important to spend time with a partner?_" Bee askes.

„Yup, that´s the reason why I want to be back at base as soon as possible. " She said with a soft smile

„_And..how do you spend time together, I mean Optimus never plays video-games or something like that. Isn´t it kinda boring just to sit around and talk or something like that?_"

Arcee felt her energon boiled up to her cheeks at the thought of Optimus and her spending time together. Bumblebee noticed the weird behaviour of Arcee why was she blushing like that at such a simple question?

„_Is everything alright?_" Bee asked concerned about Arcee.

Arcee was still blushing a little bit. She felt like a young immature femme, she wasn´t used to blush like this anymore. She was an adult femme since a long time. She shouldn´t blush at Bee´s question.

She shook her head clearing her thoughts:"I´m sorry Bee. I didn´t mean to act like this but your question caught me a little bit out of guard."She explained.

„_Did I said something wrong?_" the yellow scout asked innocently.

He´s so cute when he doesn´t know what he´s asking,she thought.

„No, It´s Ok. It´s just very inappropriateto ask what a couple is doing in it´s freetime, but you couldn´t know."She said calm.

Bee seemed very embarressed that he said something wrong. Arcee puts her hand on his shoulder:"Most time Optimus and I were talking and just enjoying eachothers company. He often tells me how much he loves me and such stuff. I guess you would think it´s boring but I missed somebot who tells me how much I meant to him" she said a little thoughtfull.

„_But you mean much to me too. You´re like a sister for me. I love you too._"Bee chirped.

Arcee couldn´t help but hug the young mech:"That´s so cute, Bee. Even if we aren´t real siblings I want you to know that I think the same. You always have been like a little brother for me too"

Bee released her from the embrace:"_Thanks Arcee_"

„Always Bee" she repeated

„OK now lets get this energon at the base."

* * *

BACK AT THE BASE

Arcee and Bumblebee just arrived throught the green-vortex, Ratchet was working in the med-bay, Bulkhead was on a trip with the kids and Optimus..well he was standing infront of the computer like a statue. Arcee sighes deeply, knowing that her mate would spend the rest of the day there until he came at their quaters very late when she was already recharging. It was so frustrating that they doesn´t even find enough time to talk to eachother. Maybe she should go to recharge earlier today so that she´s still awake when Optimus comes..but it was absolutely pointless. He would be too tired to spend time with her. And the next day it would be exactly the same. When she could just tie him to the berth, forcing him to stay with her. She smiles at the idea of tying him to the berth. But the only thing she could do was convince him to make a break.

Suddenly she realized how tired she was. Since a few days she felt really tired and exhausted. Maybe she should consume a little more energon than usual for a few day. Perhaps she´s going to feel better then.

She walked over to Optimus. When she reached him she patted him on the shoulder, making him turn around to face her.

„Hi Arcee" he greeted her

Knowing that the humans werrn´t at the base Arcee kissed him on his cheek lovely:" Optimus I´m a little tired. I think I go recharge now"

„Recharge well, Arcee" he said cupping her cheek with his hand before he leaned down to give her a little goodnight-kiss

Before she dissapeared in the shadow of the coridor, Arcee turned around one last time seeing that Optimus has turned around to the computer again.

Arcee tiredly lay down on Optimus berth. She fall in recharge sooner then she has expected but she doesn´t really care.

* * *

Arcee slowly opens her optics. Darkness surrounded her. It was very late, she still felt a little tired. She noticed a movement at her side. She turned around seeing Optimus recharging peacefully. She carefully got a little bit closer to him, trying not to wake him up. She missed his proximity so much. She cuddled up to him, feeling his warmth, she was about to fall in recharge again but when she closed her optics there was something unexpected. A sound she never thought to hear again. A feeling she thought never sense again. It can´t be possible. She mentally shook her head. She closed her eyes to listen to the sound again. She could hear Optimus´spark-beat and her own..but there was another one too. Maybe something was wrong with her Audio-receptors or she was just tired but this doesn´t explain why her spark felt weird like that. It felt exactly like it felt the last time she carried a sparkling.

Arcee panicked. She threw away the thermal-blanket in wich she and Optimus were wrapped in and shook him, her hands on his shoulders.

He looked at her in pure shock. „Arcee? What´s wrong?" he asked concerned while he was rubbing his optics.

Arcee was sitting at the edge of the berth, her head in her hands. Optimus sits down next to her putting his arm around her shoulder in an attempt to comfort her. He doesn´t know what´s brothering her but he really wants to help her.

„Arcee whats wrong?" he asked her again, making her look at him.

She hesitated a moment before she finally said:"I..I think I´m p-pregnant"

Optimus was completely shocked by her statement. He wasn´t sure what he should say now but she said that she was _thinking_ that she´s pregnant:"Arcee..Are you sure? Does Ratchet scanned you?"

„I don´t need a scan to know that I´m carrying a sparkling. I can feel it. I felt the same things I feel now when I was carrying our daughter" Arcee said confident.

:" I wnat you to go to Ratchet tomorrow. I trust you instincts but I want to be sure that our sparkling is well. This time we´re going to make everything right"

Arcee was more than surprised that Optimus has accepted the fact that she was pregnant that quick.

„Does this means that you want the sparkling?" She asked in disbelief

„Of course I want the sparkling. Primus gives us a second chance to be a family. I love you and I can´t imagine to be luckier then now." He said honest

Arcee never thought that he would react like that. But he was right. It was their second chance. She realized how importent the sparkling was for Optimus. She doesn´t want to dissapoint him by loosing another sparkling..and she couldn´t loose another one. She never will forget the pain when she lost their first sparkling. She looked in his optics, seeing joy, love and some concern.

„I wish to be a family with you Optimus but I´m afraid to have a sparkling during the war. I can´t loose another one."

„I won´t let this happen. We´re not going to loose this sparkling. This time I´m not leaving your side.I will never do this again."

* * *

Next morning

„How are we going to wake him up?"Optimus asked making a gesture with his hand towards the sleeping medic.

„I have an idea but I don´t think that you´ll like the idea" Arcee said with a grin

„I think it´s necessary to use this methode to wake him up." Optimus says with amusement in his voice.

Arcee sneaks towards Ratchet´s berth. She was glad that the medic doesn´t wake up when she couldn´t held her self back form a giggle.

She whispered in his audio-receptor:"Ratchet, Miko is in the med-bay and she´s touching all your tools and she just burned your favourite wrench"

Arcee bursts out in laughing when Ratchet tries to jump out of the berth, tripping over his balnket. He stumbles unable to stop he crashed into Optimus. Both mech went to the ground. Arcee tried everything to stop herself from laughing. She puts her infront her mouth but when they tried to stand up, Ratchet somehow slipped and grippes Optimus thinking that the Prime already stood steady again but both were laying at the floor again before one of the could even understand what´s going on.

Arcee starts getting dizzy cause she was laughing that much.

„What´s going on there?" Ratchet asked with a mix of anger and annoyance in his voice.

Finally both mech stood on their feet again, Arcee has catched her breath again:" I need a scan before the others were waking up" she said more serious.

Ratchet´s glare traveled from Arcee to Optimus:"Miko isn´t there right?"

Even Optimus smiles a little at Ratchet´s question:" No old friend. We just said that to get you out of the berth. We´re sorry"

Ratchet just shook his head amused before he asked:"So..tell me why you need a scan"

* * *

„Indeed, Arcee you´re right. There is a new life growing inside your sparkchamber."

„Is the sparkling..in a good condition?"Arcee asked worried putting her hand over the position of her sparkchamber

„There is no reason to be concerned. You´re carring a very healthy little mech"

Arcee had tears in her optics. That was just wonderful. Their sparkling will live. Her spark sung in happiness and relief.

„Orion" Arcee said

Both mechs looked at her in confusion.

„I want to name him Orion." She said happily alomost cheering.

„I know that you´re my future Optimus but I always want to have a part of the past with me."

Optimus nodded:"I love the idea that our son is named after my former self and when you wish for it I can´t bring it over my spark to refuse a request of my sparkling´s mother"

**AN: I hope you like this story. **

**Let me know what you´re thinking about the story. **

**Reviews Please : )**


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